SPIRAL DATING II - LOVE AND LOVE-MAKING

There shouldn’t be rules about intimacy and love-making. You are free. You’re spontaneous, you’re alive. Yet there are some guidelines to consider to make sure you move at YOUR right speed and that you’re aware on how dynamics change in a relationship when there’s physical intimacy and love-making. This tool isn’t about limiting your options (on the contrary) it’s not about another rule, it’s about awareness, conscious choice and feeling good, confident and strong to express BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE, INSPIRING YOU.

INTRODUCTION

In this second article I want to bring together for you the wisdom of self-awareness with the sacred essence of tantric love-making, inviting a dialogue that honors the complexity of our hearts and the transformative power of our intimate encounters. It's a call to approach each moment of connection with intention, seeing it as a portal to deeper self-knowledge, spiritual growth, and the creation of bonds that resonate with the truth of who we are, guiding us towards a fuller, more integrated wholeness.

NOTE:
SPIRAL DATING is your secret to constantly manifesting your inner Shakti energy, whether you're single, exploring the dating scene, deeply committed, or in the bonds of marriage. It's about keeping your divine feminine essence alive and vibrant, no matter where you are on your journey of love.

To know more about the concept of Spiral Dating, I suggest you read my first article about why and how to practice Spiral Dating? 😊. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ccW6FKmmW-Lqk3VZUNqH9Q6z8-fzfEeVreD0s5kiY68/edit?usp=sharing

LOVE MAKING - HISTORY AND CULTURE

Historically the path to intimacy between a man and a woman was often paved with formal commitments, societal expectations, and, more often than not, marriage. The rules of romance were tightly wound around social norms, suggesting that true intimacy should wait for the wedding bells. Today, though, many women find these traditional norms no longer fit their modern lives, even as these expectations still shape the journeys of countless others (for women who are embedded in strict religious or cultural backgrounds).

This evolution in how we view relationships and love calls for a fresh look at the ideals of commitment and romance, which once placed arranged marriages at the heart of a woman's love life. Spiral Dating becomes a powerful tool for us in this new era, especially if we want to navigate the delicate balance between societal expectations and our own desires for love and connection. It offers a way to use these norms to one's advantage, creating a space where we can move through our relationships with a sense of confidence and clear vision.

For many of us, the old rules about dating, flirting, and love-making no longer apply. We're writing our own rules now. Spiral Dating is here to remind us to stay true to ourselves, to remain open and free, ensuring we don't lose sight of our own (spiritual) path in the whirlwind of emotional connections. It's about exploring connections freely, without letting premature attachments dictate the pace or depth of our relationships. This approach encourages us to live and love without losing ourselves in the process, keeping us aligned with our own readiness and that of our lovers for what's truly meant to be.

THE RIGHT TIME TO MAKE LOVE

In the dance of love and intimacy, it's easy for us women to fall into the belief that making love with a man seals the deal of commitment. We happen to focus all our energy and attention on him, often prematurely. A desire that, if not mindfully managed, can morph into a binding need for you - before its natural time. Before the relationship, before you, before your man is ready.

NOTE: The assumption I’m making here is that you're looking for a committed spiritual relationship with the man who captures your heart

This focus and attachment might overshadow a wider range of interactions, like for example neglecting the potential for forming meaningful connections or friendships with others, both romantic and platonic. This includes the opportunity to meet new people, explore different relationships, and engage in various social activities that could enrich one's life. When one's focus is solely on a single romantic partner, especially early in the relationship, it can limit the breadth of experiences and connections that contribute to personal growth and fulfillment.

Focusing intently on a single man can sometimes lead to unforeseen consequences, especially when for many men engaging in love-making doesn't necessarily equate to a promise of lasting love, warmth, and dedication. Men often navigate their feelings and desires at their own pace and usually require more time to understand their feelings and desires (than women).
And the issue arises when a woman, in anticipation of a reciprocal depth of connection, dedicates her energies and focus too soon (which is very normal for her due to her feminine nature: when a woman is opening her body, she naturally also opens her heart too). This premature attachment, lacking in mutual exchange, can spiral into feelings of insecurity and doubt, detracting from her spiritual and emotional growth. Therefore a woman needs to both be open, vigilant and detached.

Else, hoping that such focused attention will naturally evolve into a deeper commitment might not always align with reality and create suffering. We have to remember that also for us but especially for a man, true and enduring commitment springs from a foundation of mutual respect, emotional connection, and the ongoing decision to continually choose each other, beyond mere convenience or habit. The vibrancy and depth of a relationship are nourished by these emotional connections, which require time and space to develop and mature.

AND HERE’S WHERE THE BEAUTY OF SPIRAL DATING COMES INTO PLAY

Spiral Dating transcends the superficial layers of dating and intimacy. It's an embodiment of spiritual and tantric practices that keep you open, present, and deeply

accepting of yourself and others. It's about preserving your essence and independence, ensuring that each step on your journey of love is meaningful, dignified, and deeply connected to your spiritual path.

For the women who are single and dating, or those in open relationships, Spiral Dating might involve seeing multiple men, sharing intimate moments with some, none, or many, guided by what feels right for you.

For those in committed, monogamous relationships, Spiral Dating takes on a different hue. It means maintaining an exclusive erotic bond with your partner while keeping your energy vibrant and open. It's about "dating" in a broader sense—connecting deeply with the people you encounter daily, from the man at the grocery checkout to women strolling on the sidewalk, children playing in the park, and fellow travelers on the subway.

It's a way to ensure that your radiance and vitality continue to shine, enriching not just your relationship but every facet of your life.

This approach to Spiral Dating nurtures a profound awakening of the Shakti state, where the dance of intimacy and autonomy celebrates the full spectrum of love, connection, and personal growth.

MAKING LOVE

Especially the practice of integrating sexuality into the early stages of dating can often lead to a steep incline toward commitment. 

Tantra teaches us that love making is a sacred exchange, an act of joy and exploration that connects us more deeply to ourselves, our man, and the universe. In the tapestry of spiritual and tantric teachings, love making is not merely an act, but a profound union, an opportunity for deep connection and transformation. 

It's a celebration of being, an integral part of our human and spiritual experience. Therefore, creating "rules" around love making is less about imposing restrictions and more about fostering an environment where each individual can explore their desires, fears, and boundaries in a safe and conscious manner.

The conversation around love making in the context of conscious relationships often gets ensnared in the web of societal "rules".

However, in the tantric tradition, the emphasis is placed not on external prescriptions but on the inner guidance and wisdom each individual possesses.

Tantra is encouraging women to embrace their own sovereignty, crafting personal guidelines that resonate with our spiritual journey and fundamental intimate needs. 

When discussing love making, it's vital to empower oneself to listen deeply to their own experiences and emotions. If a woman finds herself overwhelmed by attachment or distraction following an early intimate encounter, it becomes a moment of learning—a signpost guiding her towards a deeper understanding of her own capabilities and needs.

This self-awareness is particularly crucial for those who have faced hurts or disappointment, for whom reclaiming the right to make personal decisions can be a significant step towards healing and self-trust. In these instances, love making - or the decision to refrain from it - can be a powerful tool for re-establishing a sense of autonomy and connection with one's body and spirit.

RESUMEE

In the end, the most profound guideline we can offer is to encourage a heart-centered approach to love making, one that honors the sacredness of the act and the divine within each participant. By doing so, we not only deepen our intimate connections but also our connection to life and the divine itself.

I want to highlight that the essence of this article and stance is not about a woman seeking to assert her will egotistically or to sway a man to her side. Rather, it's a journey towards self-discovery, an exploration of her genuine capabilities and limits. It's about embracing personal accountability, tempering expectations to avoid the pain that can come from a too tight grip on outcomes and a blurred vision of both herself and the man in her life. A woman's knowledge of her own strengths and weaknesses is crucial, marking a significant stride towards embodying her Shakti power. This path demands inner truthfulness, discipline, authenticity, and self-awareness, along with a commitment to cultivating detachment while remaining open-hearted, curious, and loving, all in pursuit of ultimate freedom.

With Love,
Brynhilda