“High Maintenance as Spiritual Woman?”
THIS ARTICLE IN A NUTSHELL:
A spiritual woman in a relationship with a man aspires not to make her happiness depending neither on him nor the relationship as we understand that the relationship is not a cow to milk but an extraordinary tool for our spiritual evolution.
In the Tantric Teachings we find an emphasis on non-attachment and the absence of expectations towards others, including romantic partners. Yet, we at times find ourselves having desires and expectations especially when it comes to our romantic
relationships. An essential understanding here is that desire in itself isn't inherently negative. In fact, the very act of creation, as seen in the universe and its wonders, stemmed from a divine desire. The true challenge lies not in the desires themselves but in our attachment to them. This distinction is crucial in understanding and navigating our aspirations and wants in a way that fosters growth rather than constraint.
I found myself pondering whether it contradicts spiritual principles for a woman to express needs and desires in a relationship. Can holding expectations coexist with the spiritual essence of a woman? Tantra teaches us that embodying Shakti should naturally attract Shiva, without needing to force connections. This raises the question: Is it truly unspiritual to set personal standards, or is the key in our transformation into Shakti, aligning our desires with spiritual growth and towards a more fluid interaction with those we love?
This blog post ventures into this seemingly contentious topic from a spiritual perspective. While the term 'high maintenance' might initially evoke thoughts of ego and self-centeredness—qualities often at odds with spiritual enlightenment — it also touches upon the essence of Shakti: value, desire, and the inherent need to express and be adored.
This exploration seeks to reconcile these aspects, advocating for women to assert their worth and desires in a manner that not only fosters self-growth but also cultivates deep, respectful, and loving connections with their lovers. By redefining 'high maintenance' through spiritual values such as love, honesty, self-respect, and clarity, we aim to offer insights on maintaining a presence that is irresistibly authentic, addressing relationship dynamics, and enhancing self-esteem.
“Being High Maintenance” means having expectations, having wants and needs and communicating them clearly, not being afraid of asking for them.
“Being A Spiritual Woman” means releasing expectations and focusing on inner growth and connection.
Exploring a potential harmony between being "High Maintenance" and embracing a Tantric/Spiritual identity reveals a nuanced journey. While these perspectives might seem conflicting at first—with one emphasizing clear expectations and the other advocating for detachment and inner growth— they share a common goal: deepening intimacy and connection. This exploration invites a conscious awareness and expression of our needs, desires, and expectations. Integrating these aspects with a spiritual approach of detachment, we learn to differentiate between soulful needs and superficial desires. The challenge lies in confidently and harmoniously expressing these, navigating the balance between material desires and spiritual peace.
I find it worth considering that it might be more constructive to acknowledge and understand our desires and needs rather than ignore them.
As unaddressed, they can emerge in less healthy ways. Recognizing and thoughtfully deciding which desires to express fosters more genuine and open communication, steering clear of potential passive aggression or manipulation. It also helps to become aware of which are the more superficial (ever changing) desires that are worth working on in one’s personal spiritual practice and the ones who are superficial and do not need to express.
Here are some Shakti qualities as luminous pathways to embodying high maintenance with a spiritual grace.
Self-Awareness - Self-awareness leads a woman to embody her value in a way that's deeply rooted in her natural femininity and spirituality, by also becoming aware of the highest self within. This heightened self-awareness allows her to understand her needs, desires, and values on a profound level, ensuring her standards are a true reflection of her highest, deepest self. It fosters a genuine expression of her standards, aligned with her spiritual journey, and naturally attracts relationships that honor and reflect her authentic essence and high self.
Compassion & Empathy - Showing kindness and concern for others ,strengthening bonds & Understanding and sharing the feelings of others, fostering deeper connections. Compassion, as a spiritual virtue, enhances a woman's presence by infusing her high maintenance stance with kindness and understanding. It shifts the focus from solely asserting one's needs to a balanced approach that considers the feelings and well-being of others, including her man/lover(s). This empathy strengthens connections, making her high standards not just about self-respect but also about nurturing and deepening relationships. Compassion ensures that her pursuit of high standards enriches both her life and those around her, aligning her desires with a heart-centered path.
Patience - Practicing tolerance and understanding, which helps in managing expectations and reactions. Patience, from a spiritual perspective, is a profound strength that empowers a woman to maintain her high standards gracefully. It allows her to wait for what truly resonates with her spirit, without compromising her values or rushing into situations that don't align with her highest good. Patience fosters a deep trust in the universe's timing, understanding that all relationships and experiences will unfold as they are meant to. This serene approach ensures that her choices are made from a place of wisdom and clarity, upholding her high maintenance ethos with dignity and spiritual alignment.
Authenticity - Being true to oneself, which builds trust and respect in relationships. Authenticity, from both a spiritual and feminine perspective, involves embracing and expressing one's true self, aligning actions and words with inner values and truths. It's a commitment to being genuine and transparent in interactions, reflecting a deep self-awareness and acceptance.
This authenticity allows a woman to navigate life with integrity, fostering genuine connections and living in harmony with her spiritual path. It's about shedding societal masks and expectations to reveal the true essence within, a journey that not only empowers the individual but also inspires authenticity in others.
Flexibility - Being open to change and adapting gracefully, promoting harmony. Flexibility, from a spiritual and feminine perspective, involves the graceful adaptation to life's ever-changing circumstances. It signifies the strength to flow with life's ebb and flow without losing one's core essence. This quality enables a woman to embrace change, whether in personal growth, relationships, or life situations, with an open heart and mind. Spiritual flexibility is about maintaining inner peace and balance amidst external changes, allowing for personal evolution and deepening relationships in a way that honors both one's journey and the collective path with others.
Courage - Standing up for oneself and one's beliefs, ensuring self-respect and integrity. In spiritual traditions, courage is often seen as the strength of heart to face the unknown, embrace one's truth, and let go of fear and insecurity. It's the valor to confront challenges on the path to spiritual enlightenment and to stand firm in one's convictions, even when they go against the grain of societal expectations. Courage in spirituality is closely linked with trust and faith in the universe or a higher power, allowing individuals to move beyond their limitations and grow towards their highest potential. This bravery nurtures spiritual awakening by encouraging a leap into the vastness of inner discovery and outer expression of one's soul mission.
Self-love - Valuing oneself, which is foundational for setting and maintaining high standards. Self-love from a spiritual perspective is the foundational practice of recognizing and treating oneself with kindness, respect, and compassion. It involves acknowledging your intrinsic value as a being of the
universe, deserving of love and care just as you are. This deep acceptance allows you to honor your needs, pursue your true desires, and forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Practicing self-love means setting healthy boundaries, engaging in activities that nurture your soul, and speaking to yourself with gentleness.
It's a journey of coming home to your true self, recognizing that you are a reflection of the divine, and cultivating a loving relationship with the essence of who you are.
Intuition - Listening to one's inner guidance: in a spiritual context, is the inner voice or feeling that guides you toward decisions and paths that align with your highest good and spiritual growth. It's considered a direct line to the divine or your higher self, offering guidance that transcends logical reasoning. Cultivating intuition involves quieting the mind through meditation or mindfulness practices, allowing you to hear this subtle inner guidance more clearly. Trusting your intuition can lead you to live a more authentic and fulfilling life, making choices that resonate deeply with your soul's journey.
Transfiguration enriches the spiritual depth of being high maintenance in relationships. It embodies the transformative process of seeing and relating to oneself and one's partner in their highest, most divine aspect. This sacred view elevates self-confidence and self-esteem, not from ego, but from recognizing one's inherent worth and the divine spark within. Transfiguration in tantric tradition encourages seeing beyond the ordinary to the extraordinary, fostering profound respect, love, and admiration between partners, enhancing the spiritual connection.
Self-Confidence: Believing in one's worth and the value of one's fundamental needs desires, fostering the courage to express them.From a spiritual perspective, self-confidence involves recognizing and embracing your inner divinity and understanding that your desires and needs have intrinsic value. It's about knowing that your worth isn't contingent on external validation but is an inherent part of your spiritual essence. This realization fosters the courage to express your desires authentically and openly, not as demands, but as expressions of your true self. It's a journey of aligning your personal will with the greater, universal will, trusting that what you seek in harmony with your highest good contributes to your spiritual growth and deepens your connection with the divine.
Gratitude: Gratitude enriches the concept of being high maintenance from a spiritual perspective by fostering an appreciation for the present and the people in one’s life. It shifts the focus from lacking to abundance, allowing a woman to maintain high standards while being deeply connected to the joy and
richness of life. This sense of thankfulness brings a positive, uplifting energy to her relationships, encouraging mutual respect and admiration. Gratitude, therefore, becomes a powerful tool for attracting and nurturing relationships that align with her high values and spiritual path.
RESUMEE:
Exploring all the mentioned above, we could conclude that the harmony between being “high maintenance” and embodying spiritual femininity reveals a profound alignment. Through traits like self-awareness, compassion, and gratitude, a woman can uphold high standards that reflect her deepest values and spiritual growth. This journey isn't about demanding the superficial but cherishing the essence of genuine connections and self-respect. Thus, being high maintenance, rooted in spiritual awareness, becomes a celebration of one's divinity and a magnet for relationships that honor the sacredness within. Yes, embracing high maintenance as a spiritual woman not only is possible but can lead to a deeply fulfilling path of personal and relational enrichment.
With Love,
Brynhilda
